The Family I’d Never Met

Upon arrival at the airport in the country of Ghana, I waited anxiously for our luggage. After spotting the yellow ribbon that had been tightly tied to it I approached the conveyer belt hastily and grabbed our bags. We placed them on a cart and proceeded to find the family “I never met” but only spoke with over long distance phone calls. My cousin “Ti-ti” spotted me first and my mom looked at him as his face was vague but familiar. She smiled when she realized who he was, and just to the corner a large group of women rushed towards us, greeting us with smiles and tears of joy and sadness. My aunt, dubbed “Sister Mama” let out a loud cry, expressing her grave sorrow for the death of my grandma. My mom hugged and whispered consolations in her ear to calm her down. After that was settled, Our luggage’s were placed in an rugged jeep, then from there we drove on the rough roads along with many aggressive drivers towards what would be my home for the next few weeks Accra, New town. (No offense to my cuzzos, but there was nothing new about it).

The drive lasted for only 15 minutes when we arrived at the village, I looked around quietly, for it wasn’t what I expected. It was a collaboration of old rough looking houses, with a smelly gutter that ran throughout the whole village, small children wearing worn clothing and villagers normally completing their daily tasks. Some people young and old, carrying heavy gallons of water on their heads, some selling small provisions, and some cooking with their pots outside “for there is no such thing as a kitchen in this area”. We approached the gate of the “family’s house” and on it was a blown up picture of my grandma with the words “Celebration of Life”, we walked through the gate were in the rest of my family walked about and greeted us hospitably.

Over the course of the next few days I learned a few words of my mother’s native language and when I spoke it “with my American accent” it tickled everyone pink but they applauded anyhow for the effort. I witnessed the extremely long preparation of evening meals, cultural group performances, and so forth. On the third day, we went to Kpone, “my grandma’s village”, where her only living sister remained. Our one hour drive there, was followed by a bittersweet meeting, “like the one at the airport”. We were all happy to meet for the first time, but sad that it was on the expense of my late grandmother. We sat, laughed, ate, they talked and I listened, then we left to only be reunited a couple days later for my grandma’s wake-keeping.

On the day of her Wake, back in Newtown, I watched as my grandmother’s body was transported from the morgue to the back of an ambulance. We trailed behind the ambulance back to the family house so her friends who couldn’t travel with us to Kpone could wish her a last farewell. The sirens wailed and the people cried, hard. From there we went to Kpone, Ghana. The same reaction from the people in Newtown relived itself Kpone. Then finally everything became still and quiet after the men carried her body to the same exact room her father’s body was laid. The women “elders” bathed her and prepared for her wake-keeping that night. I left with a cousin of mine, and then returned during nightfall to loud singing and dancing as I was reminded its “A Celebration Of Her Life”. People danced around her body, but I couldn’t, I just looked at her as tears profusely ran down my cheeks. “Don’t Cry”! , they told me…”it’s a celebration, so dance for Grandma”…but I couldn’t. I grabbed a seat, and stared at her body and drapery for an hour or so….She looked different…They put makeup on her along with lipstick and shiny long earrings …to be honest she looked like totally different person…even I had doubts…but I knew it was her…her eyes looked the same though they were closed…We became tired…….left, then went home to catch a few hours of rest for her burial the next day.

Though it’s still surreal that she’s gone, I miss her. It strikes me in an uneasy way that now that I’m here, EXACTLY where she was just a couple months ago, once alive, I cannot see her, nor walk with her, or be given the opportunity to let her introduce me to family I’ve only heard about. I met her family with the exclusion of her because of death, this wasn’t how I intended it would be. She left the U.S a year and half ago, never would I have imagined the next time I saw her would be on her death bed, placid. Now, she is my guardian angel, my star, my inspiration, my motivation, my love, my A-n-g-e-l-i-c grandma.

A little about Myself/ Values

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In the analysis of my family, I realize that every family has its uniqueness, characteristics, values, culture and idiosyncrasies. The first value that my family gravely shared was our faith in God and church fellowship. I recall spending multiple times there during the week at church. Our week typically consisted of bible study Wednesday, Choir practice Thursdays, and all night prayer Fridays and regular service on Sundays in the morning and another in the evening, just to give you an idea. As a family, we also spent much time at home reading our bible, along with prayer and meditation. I was taught to make God a priority and consult him through prayer before anything I do, major or minor. With that said, as an adult, I agree with my family’s decision to engage with our faith as much as we did. I have found my own truth in it and cherish it greatly.

Education was an important value as well. My mother was the first amongst her siblings to migrate from Ghana, Africa as an international student, starting initially at Georgia State University. Growing up I was repeatedly reinforced to make good grades with various incentives. Conversely, If I did not I was lectured. I still stay true to this value of education not only because it started off intrinsically as a family value, but in the bigger picture, education is essential to success.

Cleanliness was another value shared amongst my family. From practicing cleanliness in our hygiene, completing chores, to maintaining a tidy room, I was taught that cleanliness is an important representation of oneself and household. With that said, my family was very modest in judgments against someone’s household not being so clean. We understood that everyone valued cleanliness differently. This value has certainly made a positive impact on my life as cleanliness is a part of my everyday routine. Yet, at times when I walk into a household that is “not as organized”, I still must remind myself that the value of cleanliness is different for everyone.

Fourthly we valued spending time together as a family. Although my family was and is so spread out, a few of us would join together if we could. Holiday’s was a great time for us to join together for quality time spent, food and fun.

Lastly, a rule and value in my family was respecting the elderly. I was taught to greatly revere people older than myself as well as authority figures. While interacting with them, I could ask questions, but I couldn’t “talk back”, meaning, reacting with great emotion or expression which was viewed as disrespectful. Ironically, within my own family, I was sort of a rebel and rather expressive with my grandmother and mother. Conversely, outside of that unit, I remember being timid and very compliant. I presume that value was embedded in me conscious and subconsciously with other people that I wasn’t as close to, or adult strangers. This value is positive, but I would have rather been encouraged or taught to express myself with everyone, while still staying true to our value of reverence for people and especially people older than us.

How listening Affects Blogging (Damage Control)

By: Melissa Chanslor

Listening or paying attention is an essential component in life. It’s a component that has been necessary in our daily interactions in every aspect of life. It takes good listening skills to understand the context of any discussion or literature. Especially in the realm of social work, listening is essential in understanding your client’s issues and making a decision regarding solutions. These same skills are applicable to blogging.  Listening is key to creating good content and managing your organization’s blog.  “Listening is an important research routine”, says Dan Schawbel when creating a blog for self or for an organization.

Matthew Bick

Listening will allow you to get to know your audience and how to engage them.

In his article, Dan discusses how and when you “become more well-known, more conversations will be held around your brand name, so you’ll spend more time listening and possibly responding to blog posts, tweets, etc”.

keepcalm.uk

Dan explained that “Brand monitoring has become an essential task for any individual or corporation. Years ago, when people talked about our brands, it was behind our backs and we almost never found out about it. Today, most of these dialogues are right in front of our own eyes and the number of locations where our brands may be cited is astronomical!”

Therefore,

Listening will guide the type of content your blog will possess and enable you to respond to your customer’s compliments, concerns or complaints.

The Social Media Craze

by Chris Heffer

Although we have been discussing the powerful impacts of Social Media for a non-profit Organization and learning about “Story-telling” and “Branding”, I decided to do some additional research on how Social Media can help me as a Professional. I came across a great article that discussed “What Makes a Social Media Campaign Work”. The overarching theme it relayed is a theme I have been noticing relative to engaging individuals through social Media. That theme is creating relationships! Sandi the author, made a logical point stating “Systematic Relationships do NOT work”.  Think about your own relationships with your family members, friends, or pet.  Most of our connections with those people/or animals are strengthened by the fact that we care about them. One example of this could be, I care about my mother, so I call her throughout the day to let her know I am thinking about her. When you care about someone, you go the extra mile to personalize your experience with them. This is essentially the goal when engaging people through the canvass of social media.  

by Jeff Bullas

Once this goal is accomplished, meaning you have pulled in a customer or individual for whatever cause, they are now “branded”. A second article illustrates this point, as it discussed the evolution of marketing. Social media is the first medium that has enabled professionals to actually engage people or customers. Today’s generation of people often use the internet to research products versus only being “pulled in” by just listening to an advertisement on the radio or television. Selling a service or a campaign more often than not involves interaction and engagement, and social media is the perfect medium used to facilitate this goal. Lastly he pointed out three benefits of “digital marketing” –

socialmediatoday.com

-It’s cheaper

-You can reach a lot of people (This is an article that provides statistics on the enormous presence of people on the internet)

       AND

-You can have dialogue with them

When used right, there is so much to gain!

Here is another article that offered some insight on why it is hard for some businesses/ non-profits (with individuals age 40+) to adapt to the social media craze.

How has Social Media Changed our Communication?

library.thinkquest.org

http://www.bamberg.info

Once upon a time, the historical means of communication were not geographically- across- the- border friendly. Taking a time machine back during the pre-telephone age, it was harder to communicate with people who did not live within your geographical region or even more so, right next door to you. Interpersonal communication was more centralized.   One article discusses the timeline of communication that has evolved from the olden methods “letters delivered via horseback” to a more modern way of communication via telephones. Although some of us still traditionally use our cellular phones to “communicate” with people, social media has revolutionized communication by allowing us to communicate with people all over the world and through multiple mediums.

 A second article discusses the essence of communication as a basic skill for human beings. It is a part of our biological make up, culture, and society to communicate our needs, feelings, and thoughts. This article provided an altering perspective of how social media has impacted our communication with each other. This perspective gives credit to social media for opening the possibilities of communication by means of connecting us with our family, friends, and acquaintances who we may keep in touch with through face book, twitter, and instagram. Then it provides a negative aspect of social media, claiming that “The over-use of social media has negated the authenticity of “social-bonding” as well as the ability for human beings to make true connections with one another.

Carrie Gable

A third article discusses social media as a medium that offers checks and balances. We have previously explored the topic of personal vs. professional and the blurred lines of using our personal lives and personal perspectives in social media in a professional way. This brief synopsis is the perfect Segway of a third article that I read called “Social Media the New Watch Dog”, it discussed how the multiple platforms in social media allows us to communicate and exchange through different mediums, but what we SAY can help or hurt us. Once a picture or statement is put on the internet, it never goes away. Unfortunately, that statement or picture will not only be seen or make an impression on people you know, but because of the grand networking aspect of social media, your reputation can be harmed globally or even carry on by impacting your future endeavors.

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How do you think social media has impacted communication in a positive or negative way? I’d like to know!

 

IF This Topic has Peaked your Interest, here are some other interesting Blogs that discuss the impacts of Social Media:

The 10 Best and Worst Ways Social Media Impacts Education

Is Social Media Destroying Real-World Relationships?

 

 

Life Changing Trips

If you ever get the opportunity to travel internationally, take advantage!

The moral rewards can be great!

http://www.empowernetwork.com

One of my greatest experiences that have deeply enriched my passion to empower communities and also cultivated qualities peculiar to Social Work, are the international trips I’ve taken. I have had the pleasure and opportunity to travel to Costa Rica. While I was attending a Christian Academy in high-school, the Principal of the school, conjoined with the Church, would organize a mission trip every year for the students to travel and perform community services in another country. That year Costa Rica had been chosen. We had the responsibility of raising our own funds. I did not take this task lightly because my family could not financially support this expensive endeavor of mine. It was very important to me that I go, so I created a mission statement and financial request cards that stated a specified amount associated with a level of giving, for example $20 for “The Silver Giver” and $50 for “The Gold Giver”. After a few months I had finally collected enough money and we embarked on a trip that has made one of the biggest impacts in my life.

costarica.escapeartist.com

We traveled to a much undeveloped city, and performed our service in the community at a local church. We had been forewarned of socio-economic challenges that had negated the young children and young adults to poor lifestyles, mainly contributed by those challenges. Prostitution amongst young girls and theft amongst young boys became a norm. At this point, I largely understood the importance of community resources especially for underprivileged and disadvantaged communities.  Our task there involved connecting with and mentoring the young adults and children, in the short time frame we had.

We hosted daily activities that the children could come to and get away from the burdens of life. It was a time for them to fulfill their interest, show their talents, and build their confidence. I found myself wanting more for them than what I could offer and was very humbled by their high energy and smiling faces despite their circumstances. I remember passing out a few teddy bears that I’d brought along. I gave the last teddy bear to this little girl who had shadowed me the whole time I was there, regardless of our language barrier. Before we left, she brought me a torn up piece of card board for me to write my number down, I did, knowing she may or may not ever call due to the present circumstances. However, I was deeply touched by whatever impact my time there had made on her life. It was a great mentoring experience that maximized my ability to empathize with people.

Tell me about an international trip that you’ve taken. How was your experience? If you haven’t travelled internationally, where would you like to go?

What Makes a Good Story?

sandbox.tribecafilminstitute.org

 Mike Margolis founder and president of Get Storied delivered an important point when he communicated that story telling for the efforts of raising awareness and/or funds in non-profit organizations or on social media, is rather dull and unappealing. These “Dull and Redundant Stories” have become the trending standard, and Story-tellers need an INTERVENTION and AWAKENING, if they truly want to accomplish their objective in pulling in their audiences. After all that is the goal right? To educate, engage, and find common ground.

In my reading, two significant aspects to story-telling stuck with me the most. The first is that a good story comes from “Within-in” and “Make the story relate to the audience”. It is about being authentic and genuine, which is conducive for a story to appeal and connect with people. The audience will be drawn by its legitimacy to the cause verses being detracted by a story that is basic or “Not heart-felt” in relaying the message. It is about getting people to “See and Feel” the purpose of the story.

 

costarica.escapeartist.com

Just 20 cents a day!

Along with telling a genuine story, it is important to make the story relate to the audience. I’ve been learning that in order to channel the audience’s emotions, they must feel affected or impacted by the story. In other words, their emotional reaction to the story is the “Glue” for them to truly connect to the cause.  When I was younger, in between watching my favorite shows, I remember those child-welfare ads on tv, that would depict “The story” of a particular child who is essentially mal- nourished and neglected. To make the audience connect with the child on TV, the author in the background would narrate and display the child’s Story through disturbing but eye-opening pictures about their challenges.  Questions popped up next to the child, on the screen for us to read. Like, “Will you help me?” or “Will you be my sponsor?”. Then the narrator would say, “All it takes is 20 cents a day, and you can feed, clothe, and ensure and education for a child! Some of those organizations/advertisements would even promise to send you updates on the child you are sponsoring, so you could actually SEE the difference you are making in their lives.  Unfortunately at the time I had no job, and therefore no money BUT I found myself connected to the genuine nature of the story and cause. I’d always think, “Man, if I had money, I would sponsor a child!

The lesson I have learned: A Good Story  is conducive for successful engagement, consensus, and support within the audience/ community.

What do you think makes a Good story telling?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Personal Vs. Professional

Check List:

Status updated!

 Tweet posted!

 Photo of “my hot self” added to Instagram!

  Put an Inspirational quote on FB around midday so everyone thinks I’m Sage!

While thinking about this topic,

“Personal versus Professional use of Social Media”,

I realized that up until this class I am taking called Social Media Tools, Social Media has in a way been the e- Mirror Image of my life. Personal use of Social Media is rather subjective verses Professional, in which the Blogger’s lens is more objective and serves a more external purpose. Professor Peggy Palmitter posted a genius article called “The Mindset Divide”, in which this article visually and eloquently described the grave differences of “Personal vs. Professional use of Social Media”. Relating this article to myself being “The Personal User”, I wanted to remain in touch with close friends and family as well as to relatively stay up-to-date with trending topics and news. Since “dutifully” sharing your personal information has become a catchy thing to do online, I of course wanted to update my friends and family about my life and special events. The platforms used to reach this goal, have inherently been made for me to personalize my e-profile. Therefore as a “Personal and Subjective User”, I have become an expert in creating my Me! Me! Me! profile, and mainly zeroing in on topics that justify my interests. As a Personal user, there weren’t any boundaries that I strongly used to conduct myself, besides the policies of each social media platform. I could be relaxed and casual, like at a cocktail party.

Conversely, I have seen myriad examples of “The Professional use of social media” via advertisements on Facebook or Awareness campaigns on Twitter or Instagram. “The Professional” differs from “The Personal user” in that using Social Media is more objective and goal-oriented. More connections are made with others versus the typical limit of “Friends and Family”. These connections are what drives the campaign or awareness of an issue, therefore connections appear to be more across the borders and demographics. In reference to the early mentioned article “The Mindset Divide”, this article even goes as far as describing the altered emotions of “The Personal vs. The Professional”. The Professional user’s emotions are amplified by purpose, goals, and “success”; whereas “The Personal user’s emotions are oriented by “wistfulness, diversion, and entertainment”. The actions greatly differ as well, in that the Professional’s purpose is to “Invest time” since he/she has a more goal oriented drive. Lastly, “The Professional” also places boundaries on themselves in order to uphold a “Certified Image” or a skilled representation of a company. For example it is rare that you would see “The Professional” using slang in a blog or status unless it served some objective purpose.

To conclude, having become more acquainted with “The Professional user” I am very excited about maximizing my potential as a “Skilled and Certified User” of Social Media to manage my Social goals.